Well, this presumption does make sense. I guess it requires much effort to live with one person many years. Passion fades, our perception isn’t clouded anymore because now nothing stimulates the pleasure centres of our brain to trigger the production of vast amounts of natural endorphins. A person begins to see every fault of the partner. Domestics and children make the things even worse. One day you reach the point and realize that you just need kind of a change. To have an affair seems a good idea. People think that they can diversify their sexual activity and perhaps a new crush can spice up their boring family life. On the other hand, I’m still doubtful as to whether a man is ready to risk all what he’s got for just a short-term fling with somebody. But that’s not even a point. Won’t your conscience bother you after this? If somebody at least thinks about the possibility of cheating on a spouse that implies that there’s a crisis in the relationship. And infidelity will only exacerbate the situation. What if we try another approach? People are biosocial beings. And we are more social creatures of course. If it wasn’t, there wouldn’t be families, different associations and even our society. And what does it mean? That means that we can control our biological urges and needs, otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to evolve into such intelligent and highly developed species. And nobody has a right to justify sleeping with someone else telling that an animal instinct is what makes us do it. No, it doesn’t. To tell that an affair can improve your marriage is hypocrisy and wishful thinking. We have spiritual values, we can love, we can communicate with each other. Therefore we can strengthen a marriage with the help of other more honest and honourable methods. If you’re cheating on your partner in the hope that it can improve relations in marriage then you’re just looking for excuses for your disgrace.
I share the writer`s concerns here. Nowadays the number of divorces is bigger than the number of marriages, because affairs became a usual thing among a lot of men and women. To face with an extramarital R&R becomes a real challenge for many people. On the one hand a lot of women now are ready to forgive husbands` adulteries, just because they esteem every year, which they have lived together during their marriage. Especially it happens when such couples have children. Some women are sure that physical infidelity is not the same as moral one. But here we stand up to the challenge. I`d like to add some remarks. There is an opininon that male treason is safer for marriage, as they say, "Affairs strenghten the marriage". This aphorism was invented by men to equip themselves with a comfortable niche. When they are emotionally tired, they need to discharge negative energy, but they prefer not to pour it on their wives. It is easier to do it with a mistress. Therefore, there is some truth in the fact that male treason is aimed at preserving the family. But as we know, for the most part, a man has an extramarital R&R for the sake of sex as such. What if we try to look at the problem from another point of view? It`s very risky to forgive the adultery, because what happens once can happen twice. Especially when one in the couple becomes disillusioned with his partner. Women hasitate about the treason longer than men. For them the main thing is the emotional component, not the physical sensations. That is why the betrayal of the wife leads more often to the complete disintegration of the family. Anyway, it is very hard to judge from outside. It is necessary to feel it. An ability to forgive makes us humans.
Well it does make sense that people living together, for a long time, may lose interest to each other. It happens because people have lost a spark in the relationship. You`re struck with a mortgage, maybe a child or a two… What are you going to do? Within humans there is an instinctive tug towards infidelity. If we look at the statistics, the first cause of divorce is treason. And this is not surprising, because all people want to be happy in marriage and if they do not find happiness then they start looking for it on the side. But what if we try to look at the problem from another point of view? Some people believe that love lives for three years. This statement is wrong. Love lives, exactly as much – how many people want it to live. It means that relations are transferred to new levels. And this depends on the desire to work hard on the relationships every day. In this case, everyone will be happy and there will no necessity to make divorce. Don`t you think so?
The problem of an affair is rather controversial. Breach of faith is one of the main reasons in the statistics of divorces. Is it possible to forgive adultery and continue to live happily? There is no universal answer to this question because every love drama has its own peculiarities. At present there is no doubt that adultery has buried millions of marriages, many of which were quite happy. The adultery is different and sometimes you can not forgive it. If your partner lives a double life and for many years lies you day after day, then of course it's hard to forget and moreover to forgive. However, much of the affairs are of a one-time nature and in such cases divorce is not the best option. I was thinking you might be interested to know that affair is dangerous not only for marriage but for health. Often a person who has an affair can get sick with some kind of venereal disease. So you can be sure that I am an ardent opponent of betrayals. It does not strengthen marriages, it humiliates your partner who trusts you.
I`d like to raise the problem of affairs. There are many reasons people have affairs and these extra relationships have their own positive and negative aspects that sometimes make us incredibly happy, make us feel lucky and excited to be involved in them, or nervous, disappointed, ashamed or just straight out annoyed. But I wonder if you`ve ever thought that an affair could save a marriage? Of course, there have to be positive points to having an affair or nobody would be doing it. It is often to fill voids that their current relationship doesn’t fill; boredom; loneliness; naturally wondering eyes; and many other reasons. When someone feels something missing in their relationship, albeit emotionally or physically, they will often want to complete the circle, make themselves feel fully satisfied with another person. It can maintain being just self esteem boosting or it can grow into a valued, caring relationship that continues for many years. Affairs aren’t always fun, loving and risk-free. While there are great reasons to have an affair and many to stay in one, there are also things that make you feel you’re doing the wrong thing and you feel guilt, you have a fight with your lover, or worst case you get caught! One of the primary cons about having an extramarital affair is the risk of pain it would put on the people in the families involved. It may seem fun, exciting and you may have developed no guilt but things can go wrong, conversations may leak out, conflicts might start and the general eventual feeling that you know you’re not the main part in your lover’s life can take its toll. So you can see that this problem is rather controversial and I`d like to know your opinion.
It is time we turn to the problem, which is considered to be rather controversial: the problem of affairs. From the very childhood people tend to believe in love that lasts forever or relationships without any problems. But with time the majority comes to the point of facing reality and accepting the fact that nowadays relationships are more complicated than it is said to be in fairytales. The number of divorces is skyrocketing and the main reason for that is the increase of affairs, which are almost inevitable for the couples of 21st century. Nevertheless, there still are people who are trying to get over the affairs and to save their families because of the children or joint businesses. As Judith Brandt wrote in her book, we have to accept the fact, that affairs sometimes are of less importance than separating yourself from the children, losing 50 per cent of the income or your home. Also, if people are going to be cheating on their partners anyway, there should be someone telling them to think twice and access the risk they take, and that is what the book is aimed at. But there is one point I’d like to make: if people surely know that they have the right to cheat on their lovers, where is the sense in making families, building relationships? There won’t be love within the couple, when both partners know that they are cheated on. According to the statistics, 90 per cent of the respondents in Russia said that they were witnesses of the psychological abuse between their parents, caused by the affairs. So, we can’t justify affairs by „saving families“ and doing that „for children“, as they are those who suffer most within the situation. I was thinking that you might be interested in the ideas presented in the book. And what do you think? Is it better to say that affairs are the norm of life or to try to get back to “the old fashion ideals” of strong families and life-long loves?
Well, it does make sense that people get tired from each other for a long time together, children and domestic life bored. In addition, Men and women equally need attention and affection. If a relationship is missing the tenderness, you may feel that they are built on use for domestic and sexual purposes. Tenderness is a manifestation of care and increased attention to the other person. When in a relationship, this does not happen, the person starts to feel lonely, thinks that it is not love. It is quite natural that there is a need to find "a soul mate". On the other hand it bothers me that a man can betray. You have to think about what your family is the only people who will help you and support you, and your wife, with whom perhaps you have a conflict, loves you and will not betray. What if we try another approach? First of all you need to find the time to discuss troubling issues. One of the components of a happy marriage is the ability to negotiate, to find compromises, to clarify and articulate their needs on time. Listen to your feelings – they are signals about what is happening with you and your family. If you experience dissatisfaction in relation to the spouse, it is important to talk to him about it, to clarify the situation that caused it, not to perpetuate the conflict.
No doubt, that there's no more controversial or tangled issue than family relationships. An institution of marriage existing for thousand years overcome numerous amounts of critical viewing, discouraging and denying whereas it still has a titanic power over social regulations. Nowadays survays and social researches prove that the percentage of divorces has grown increasingly. Mostly, the reasons are rather apparent - spouses are caught in adultery. Being stuck into mortgage, failures in love and romance department, stresses and domestic duties are turning affectionate couple into enemies captivated into one cell. The author of the article in Daily Mail shares his own ideas from a book devoted to the positive sides of having an affair. On the one hand, Broadbent emphasizes that conducting am affair sometimes can even put the sparkle back into family life if one wishes to remain the family as the dominant value. According to his commentaries, such abrubt choices as a family break-up or divorce might lead to disasterous consequences and leave a deep impact. But what if we try another approach? Family issues are not simply the rules to obey and follow. It's the hardest everyday labour requiring wisdom,diplomacy and patience of a saint. Having an affair is an embodiment of disrespect towards your own choices and neglect of your pride and principles. Instead of cluing apparent tears one just covers them with disguise and utter hypocrisy. Betrayal means sloth and weakness, an urge to distract at fake pleasures and delusions with no signs of a real hope. Following their bare instincts is a feature of an animal, but not a human of manners and principles forming his own social circle - a family.
It does make sense that cheating is one of the most hurtful things that can happen to a relationship or marriage. Cheating is much more common in today’s culture. You see and hear about it all of the time in the media. The internet makes it easier for spouses to cheat on one another without the other one knowing. With the television, you always hear stories about how this celebrity cheated on their husband or wife. So, nowadays a lot of people don’t think that affairs are awful and they can forgive it, especially when you have children, business or a marriage contract. Moreover, many people say that affairs can put the spark back into your life. On the other hand, I’m still doubtful as to the fact that it is so easy to forgive affair. Our own pride and sense of self-worth is damaged when a partner cheats on us. We feel abused, worthless and betrayed. So could you live happy again and don’t remember that affair? It depends on you. But what if we try another approach? We all are so different. Follow your heart, instead of all books or family counselors. The sanctity of marriage is not very sacred anymore, but you can prove the opposite.
Well, this presumption does make sense. I guess it requires much effort to live with one person many years. Passion fades, our perception isn’t clouded anymore because now nothing stimulates the pleasure centres of our brain to trigger the production of vast amounts of natural endorphins. A person begins to see every fault of the partner. Domestics and children make the things even worse. One day you reach the point and realize that you just need kind of a change. To have an affair seems a good idea. People think that they can diversify their sexual activity and perhaps a new crush can spice up their boring family life.
ОтветитьУдалитьOn the other hand, I’m still doubtful as to whether a man is ready to risk all what he’s got for just a short-term fling with somebody. But that’s not even a point. Won’t your conscience bother you after this? If somebody at least thinks about the possibility of cheating on a spouse that implies that there’s a crisis in the relationship. And infidelity will only exacerbate the situation.
What if we try another approach? People are biosocial beings. And we are more social creatures of course. If it wasn’t, there wouldn’t be families, different associations and even our society. And what does it mean? That means that we can control our biological urges and needs, otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to evolve into such intelligent and highly developed species. And nobody has a right to justify sleeping with someone else telling that an animal instinct is what makes us do it. No, it doesn’t. To tell that an affair can improve your marriage is hypocrisy and wishful thinking. We have spiritual values, we can love, we can communicate with each other. Therefore we can strengthen a marriage with the help of other more honest and honourable methods. If you’re cheating on your partner in the hope that it can improve relations in marriage then you’re just looking for excuses for your disgrace.
I share the writer`s concerns here. Nowadays the number of divorces is bigger than the number of marriages, because affairs became a usual thing among a lot of men and women. To face with an extramarital R&R becomes a real challenge for many people. On the one hand a lot of women now are ready to forgive husbands` adulteries, just because they esteem every year, which they have lived together during their marriage. Especially it happens when such couples have children. Some women are sure that physical infidelity is not the same as moral one. But here we stand up to the challenge. I`d like to add some remarks. There is an opininon that male treason is safer for marriage, as they say, "Affairs strenghten the marriage". This aphorism was invented by men to equip themselves with a comfortable niche. When they are emotionally tired, they need to discharge negative energy, but they prefer not to pour it on their wives. It is easier to do it with a mistress. Therefore, there is some truth in the fact that male treason is aimed at preserving the family. But as we know, for the most part, a man has an extramarital R&R for the sake of sex as such. What if we try to look at the problem from another point of view? It`s very risky to forgive the adultery, because what happens once can happen twice. Especially when one in the couple becomes disillusioned with his partner. Women hasitate about the treason longer than men. For them the main thing is the emotional component, not the physical sensations. That is why the betrayal of the wife leads more often to the complete disintegration of the family. Anyway, it is very hard to judge from outside. It is necessary to feel it. An ability to forgive makes us humans.
ОтветитьУдалитьWell it does make sense that people living together, for a long time, may lose interest to each other. It happens because people have lost a spark in the relationship. You`re struck with a mortgage, maybe a child or a two… What are you going to do? Within humans there is an instinctive tug towards infidelity.
ОтветитьУдалитьIf we look at the statistics, the first cause of divorce is treason. And this is not surprising, because all people want to be happy in marriage and if they do not find happiness then they start looking for it on the side.
But what if we try to look at the problem from another point of view? Some people believe that love lives for three years. This statement is wrong. Love lives, exactly as much – how many people want it to live. It means that relations are transferred to new levels. And this depends on the desire to work hard on the relationships every day. In this case, everyone will be happy and there will no necessity to make divorce. Don`t you think so?
The problem of an affair is rather controversial. Breach of faith is one of the main reasons in the statistics of divorces. Is it possible to forgive adultery and continue to live happily? There is no universal answer to this question because every love drama has its own peculiarities. At present there is no doubt that adultery has buried millions of marriages, many of which were quite happy. The adultery is different and sometimes you can not forgive it. If your partner lives a double life and for many years lies you day after day, then of course it's hard to forget and moreover to forgive. However, much of the affairs are of a one-time nature and in such cases divorce is not the best option. I was thinking you might be interested to know that affair is dangerous not only for marriage but for health. Often a person who has an affair can get sick with some kind of venereal disease. So you can be sure that I am an ardent opponent of betrayals. It does not strengthen marriages, it humiliates your partner who trusts you.
ОтветитьУдалитьI`d like to raise the problem of affairs. There are many reasons people have affairs and these extra relationships have their own positive and negative aspects that sometimes make us incredibly happy, make us feel lucky and excited to be involved in them, or nervous, disappointed, ashamed or just straight out annoyed. But I wonder if you`ve ever thought that an affair could save a marriage?
ОтветитьУдалитьOf course, there have to be positive points to having an affair or nobody would be doing it. It is often to fill voids that their current relationship doesn’t fill; boredom; loneliness; naturally wondering eyes; and many other reasons. When someone feels something missing in their relationship, albeit emotionally or physically, they will often want to complete the circle, make themselves feel fully satisfied with another person. It can maintain being just self esteem boosting or it can grow into a valued, caring relationship that continues for many years.
Affairs aren’t always fun, loving and risk-free. While there are great reasons to have an affair and many to stay in one, there are also things that make you feel you’re doing the wrong thing and you feel guilt, you have a fight with your lover, or worst case you get caught! One of the primary cons about having an extramarital affair is the risk of pain it would put on the people in the families involved. It may seem fun, exciting and you may have developed no guilt but things can go wrong, conversations may leak out, conflicts might start and the general eventual feeling that you know you’re not the main part in your lover’s life can take its toll.
So you can see that this problem is rather controversial and I`d like to know your opinion.
It is time we turn to the problem, which is considered to be rather controversial: the problem of affairs. From the very childhood people tend to believe in love that lasts forever or relationships without any problems. But with time the majority comes to the point of facing reality and accepting the fact that nowadays relationships are more complicated than it is said to be in fairytales. The number of divorces is skyrocketing and the main reason for that is the increase of affairs, which are almost inevitable for the couples of 21st century. Nevertheless, there still are people who are trying to get over the affairs and to save their families because of the children or joint businesses.
ОтветитьУдалитьAs Judith Brandt wrote in her book, we have to accept the fact, that affairs sometimes are of less importance than separating yourself from the children, losing 50 per cent of the income or your home. Also, if people are going to be cheating on their partners anyway, there should be someone telling them to think twice and access the risk they take, and that is what the book is aimed at. But there is one point I’d like to make: if people surely know that they have the right to cheat on their lovers, where is the sense in making families, building relationships? There won’t be love within the couple, when both partners know that they are cheated on. According to the statistics, 90 per cent of the respondents in Russia said that they were witnesses of the psychological abuse between their parents, caused by the affairs. So, we can’t justify affairs by „saving families“ and doing that „for children“, as they are those who suffer most within the situation.
I was thinking that you might be interested in the ideas presented in the book. And what do you think? Is it better to say that affairs are the norm of life or to try to get back to “the old fashion ideals” of strong families and life-long loves?
Well, it does make sense that people get tired from each other for a long time together, children and domestic life bored. In addition, Men and women equally need attention and affection. If a relationship is missing the tenderness, you may feel that they are built on use for domestic and sexual purposes. Tenderness is a manifestation of care and increased attention to the other person. When in a relationship, this does not happen, the person starts to feel lonely, thinks that it is not love. It is quite natural that there is a need to find "a soul mate".
ОтветитьУдалитьOn the other hand it bothers me that a man can betray. You have to think about what your family is the only people who will help you and support you, and your wife, with whom perhaps you have a conflict, loves you and will not betray.
What if we try another approach? First of all you need to find the time to discuss troubling issues. One of the components of a happy marriage is the ability to negotiate, to find compromises, to clarify and articulate their needs on time. Listen to your feelings – they are signals about what is happening with you and your family. If you experience dissatisfaction in relation to the spouse, it is important to talk to him about it, to clarify the situation that caused it, not to perpetuate the conflict.
No doubt, that there's no more controversial or tangled issue than family relationships. An institution of marriage existing for thousand years overcome numerous amounts of critical viewing, discouraging and denying whereas it still has a titanic power over social regulations. Nowadays survays and social researches prove that the percentage of divorces has grown increasingly. Mostly, the reasons are rather apparent - spouses are caught in adultery. Being stuck into mortgage, failures in love and romance department, stresses and domestic duties are turning affectionate couple into enemies captivated into one cell. The author of the article in Daily Mail shares his own ideas from a book devoted to the positive sides of having an affair. On the one hand, Broadbent emphasizes that conducting am affair sometimes can even put the sparkle back into family life if one wishes to remain the family as the dominant value. According to his commentaries, such abrubt choices as a family break-up or divorce might lead to disasterous consequences and leave a deep impact.
ОтветитьУдалитьBut what if we try another approach? Family issues are not simply the rules to obey and follow. It's the hardest everyday labour requiring wisdom,diplomacy and patience of a saint. Having an affair is an embodiment of disrespect towards your own choices and neglect of your pride and principles. Instead of cluing apparent tears one just covers them with disguise and utter hypocrisy. Betrayal means sloth and weakness, an urge to distract at fake pleasures and delusions with no signs of a real hope. Following their bare instincts is a feature of an animal, but not a human of manners and principles forming his own social circle - a family.
It does make sense that cheating is one of the most hurtful things that can happen to a relationship or marriage. Cheating is much more common in today’s culture. You see and hear about it all of the time in the media. The internet makes it easier for spouses to cheat on one another without the other one knowing. With the television, you always hear stories about how this celebrity cheated on their husband or wife. So, nowadays a lot of people don’t think that affairs are awful and they can forgive it, especially when you have children, business or a marriage contract. Moreover, many people say that affairs can put the spark back into your life.
ОтветитьУдалитьOn the other hand, I’m still doubtful as to the fact that it is so easy to forgive affair. Our own pride and sense of self-worth is damaged when a partner cheats on us. We feel abused, worthless and betrayed. So could you live happy again and don’t remember that affair? It depends on you.
But what if we try another approach? We all are so different. Follow your heart, instead of all books or family counselors. The sanctity of marriage is not very sacred anymore, but you can prove the opposite.